i’m heading off for the night, replies will come in the morning. g’night lovelies

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contrariis:

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            “I was only ever like that because you were a complete and total douche. Let’s not play like we’re innocent here, because we both know that you’re not, okay?” She was honestly a bit hurt that he’d say such a thing. “Ju-just shut up…”

"I never said I wasn’t a douche." He’ll almost shrug off her words, biting the inside of his cheek. "But I have so much more to say." They always said that the boy who teased you on the playground liked you, right? 

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/ abnegxtions /

He knew why his roommate had moved, hell he understood their reasons for doing so. He didn’t mind that they left him in the middle of the year, nor really cared that they wouldn’t be coming back. He didn’t mind at all. What he did mind, however, was looking for a new roommate. Because of course, he’d settled on a relatively expensive apartment in an alright neighbourhood after some convincing from his former roommate. “You don’t want to be fearing for your life when you’re travelling home at ungodly hours, do you Noah?” She’d chorused before levelling him with a look which practically screamed; ‘I can defend myself but you’re skinny and defenseless’. Which, fair enough.

The problem with them renting that apartment out, was the price. Admittedly, his wages were horrible, most teachers were, but he was new. So of course, he had to look for a new roommate to share the rent with him. Easy enough. Or so he told himself in the beginning. It couldn’t be hard, could it? Put an ad in the newspaper and maybe on craigslist, hope some creep didn’t turn up to be met or whatever.

In the end, he did find that a couple of the people who were interested just weren’t suitable, either involved with drugs and gambling, too old, or as his sister stated; “Too hinky.”. Which ended up leading to the last applicant, one who he was waiting to meet face to face. All he had done was send back an IM when they’d contacted him, mentioning the address and a time. 

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contrariis:

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Learnt from the best? Who’d you learn that from? Some new slut you’re hooking up with, because I know you didn’t learn that from me…” Okay, perhaps the auburn haired female was a bit bitter as well. “Of course there’s room for improvement. When I first met you, you were just an ass….But I’m sure if you keep certain behavior up you’ll be heading for pure dick.”

"Are you sure it wasn’t you? Because I can remember you being incredibly horrid and rather bitchy on more than one occasion. Surely it would make sense for me to consider you the best." So maybe he doesn’t make that much sense. "Either way, I know I can satisfy you." 

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        “Shit.” Subtlety, thy name is Abrey Mason. If that lack of skill wasn’t already obvious by the time she tried to crouch down behind the car. Only to clear her throat and shout seconds later, “You didn’t see shit.” 

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Send an “Ѡ” for my muse’s reaction to being sent accidental nudes.

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/ mendacibus /

indxfinitely:

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"Your legs aren’t that long, babe. You could possibly kick them in the stomach, but definitely not the face. Plus, you are much, much more vulnerable whilst on the ground. Your entire body is at their will,” he informed her, furrowing his eyebrows and shaking his head. Then he let a low chuckle leave his lips at the comment of his height. “Yeah, ‘m kind of a giant,” he joked, shrugging and crossing his strong arms. “Eighth? Well. that’s a few streets down. Do you really wanna try and make your way through the streets in the dark? I don’t think so. I don’t want to see your name and the word murder together in the news tomorrow,” he sighed, shaking his head. “Speaking of names, what’s yours?”

"Either way, I could stop them for a wee while. I mean if it was a guy, his stomach isn’t far from… well. - Point, but you also can’t be pushed to the ground if you’re already on it." So her logic might need some work. A smile tugged at her lips then, "Ever thought about playing basketball? Or maybe going to lead in an Indie band where all of the girls end up fawning over the lanky one?" Her train of thought might need some work, too. A puff of air passing her lips as she moved a hand to push her hair back from her eyes, shrugging. "Maybe? I honestly don’t know, but if I did, and I did succeed in getting murdered, only to appear in the paper you could totally brag about knowing the idiot who got herself killed." She hummed, offering a smile after a beat, "Shanley, and I apologise for most likely seeming like a lunatic. - And you are?"

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BODYGUARD AU SHES SPOILED HE NEEDS THE JOB THEY HATE EACHOtHER.  MODERN BONNIE AND CLYDE AU THEY MEET WHEN TRYING TO ROB THE SAME HOUSE AND TEAM UP. CELEBRITY AU ONE IS AN ACTOR/ACTRESS OTHER IS A SINGER AND THEY ARE FORCED TO START A PUBLICITY STUNT. NERD/POPULAR AU THE POPULAR ONE IS DARED TO DATE THE NERD. PRINCESS FALLS IN LOVE WITH COMMONER AU. ALL THE AUS.

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shallowpockvts:

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     ”Pretty sure it was a crack house before me and Jo got it.” He says, referring to his younger sister. “S’all we can afford right now, so…the fuck y’want, huh?” 

        “Explains a lot.” He’ll just nod along, like it makes perfect sense. “At least it’s roomy. —- Well, I wanted to apologise for being such a dick.” A pause. “Okay, maybe I didn’t exactly want to, but I should, shouldn’t I?”

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